Saturday, December 24, 2011

A softer heart.

We've been married for 3 years and 18 days, but who's counting? ;) it's Christmas Eve today. Last night, We had a few last minute errands to run. We dropped the kiddos off at Grandpa Steve's house, and ran around to a bunch of different places. We stopped at a little Thai place, called Siamese Express. We like to eat here sometimes. The food's pretty good and it's just a little hole in the wall place. The owners are always the ones working. Anyway, Jason and I sat down while waiting for our meal. He says, "I called Drew back this morning. I didn't want to disregard his phone call to wish us a Merry Christmas."
"That was nice," I said.

This may seem so small, but it is leaps and bounds from where he was when we'd started. He wouldn't have called him back before.

A few months back, after he'd come home from the grocery store, he'd said, "today I donated my change for breast cancer awareness. It's the first time I've ever really done something like that."
"Good. It feels good, doesn't it? That was really nice honey."
He said, "it was only like a quarter, but it's a start."
I couldn't argue with that.

Anyway, our conversation at dinner went on...
"I told you about that gift thing at work for that family, right?"

Me: "Nope. Must've been your other wife."

J: "They had this stocking with a list of items to get this family. This year, I grabbed one. I bought a $25 gift card to Ralph's from us."

....and he kind of kept talking, but I hung in to those words.... My husband is an incredibly caring man, but normally just for those who reside in his four walls.... For him to step outside these four walls and to give something of monetary value to someone else, it brought me to tears. In three years, I've watched his heart soften an incredible amount. I'd love to say that my giving has slowly been wearing on him, but it is probably a large combination of things. 1. The kids. We have two healthy kids, who are so bright. So healthy. We are so blessed. 2. We are blessed! Blessed with the ability to have a house! To have food! Jason has a great job! It allows me to stay home and take care of them. We each have a vehicle, and one of them is very nice. We have more than what we need. We are truly blessed!!!! 3. And this is one of the most important ones.... Jason has really set out to improve himself and he's doing such a fantastic job. He watches motivational speeches, reads motivational books, reads motivational zen blogs, articles, and the list goes on. He's completely changed his eating habits.... Well all of his habits, and he's pretty much done it alone. He puts his mind to it and he just does it! It is amazing to watch him grow and change. I love it and it truly inspires me. I wish it was as easy as he makes it look.... I struggle a lot more. Mark yesterday, because that's when he shared his kind gesture, down in history, that he gave..... Gave his own money, on his own terms, and it came from his own heart.... He gave soooo incredibly selflessly.... Outside of these four walls.

Another one of the thousands of reasons I picked him. His heart.... You kiddos are so blessed to have had him. I am so blessed to have shared the moments of my life with him.... And to you, Jason, I love to watch you grow and to love.... Every single day, you make me want to be a better person, and I am so thankful for that.... I could not have picked a better man!!! I love you! Thank you for leading our family the way that you do....